Switching Personalities
by GiNxNOxOokami
Summary: BE WARNED :: a yaoi fanfic finally making sauske the girl and naruto guyish. they fall in love, we make fun of them, make everyone really weird, and then they die. (not really though, but i bet you were shocked when you read that) kinda AU, NARUxSASU...oh
1. Default Chapter

DICLAIMER : "Naruto" does not belong to us. But it would be awesome if he was… especially Sasuke… xD

REMINDER : we don't like yaoi. sometimes… it goes too far… xP… but…other times… its funnnyyyy. **purpose:** to make fun of every weird random pairing Naruto fans put out.

RAWR

Our story takes place many years later; after Orochi-bastard is killed by the combined forces of the previous Team 7, Itachi dies from deteriorated eyesight causing him to sleepwalk off a cliff and plunge to his death, and our ninjas find themselves in a modern world without the need of super trained shinobis, replaced by sports cars, microwave ovens, computers, high-speed internet services, and access to information, friends, and hentai (eww) at the click of a button.

In the fast developing Fire Country, Konoha still keeps the Ninja Academy to discipline the youth and upholds years of tradition of the line of Hokages.

Yes, Tsunade is still alive, younger than ever due to serious botox and massive amounts of chakra; thus unfortunate for Uzumaki Naruto, preventing his rise to power. Uchiha Sasuke's ambition was ruined by Itachi's freak accident and finally we arrive at the beginning of our tale: two somewhat depressed ninjas seeing an end to their exciting, dangerous, and adventurous lives.

Naruto stood on top of the middle three logs in the training field where they first became genins. Sasuke leaned against the other log as he stared apathetically at the sky.

"How old are we now," Sasuke asked, "what... about 200 years old?"

Naruto dropped down and sat on the wood, swinging his legs back and forth. "And yet, we're 21," Naruto sighed. Then suddenly, he laughed. "We can have sake now datte ba yo!"

Sasuke just rolled his eyes at the blonde's stupidity but secretly thought "ha ha ha ha, sake..."

They caught each other's eyes. Red rose in Sasuke's cheeks, much to his surprise, as he abruptly turned his head away to hide his blushing skin.

Naruto pondered the antics of his best friend but simply ran after Sasuke into a sake bar. He didn't see the tree root hidden under the leaves. At first, Sasuke decided to let him fall but his body took over and made it to Naruto, allowing Naruto to fall on him.

"Gahhhh!" Naruto screamed as he started to fall but was cut off at the presence of warmth on his lips. "What the HELL?" he yelled as he quickly got off of a bright red Sasuke.

"You dobe. Watch where you're going," Sasuke said coolly and half-dreamily as he lay there, still watching the clouds.

"It's not my fucking fault you were there! It was your fault you fucking baka!"

Sasuke just got up and dragged Naruto to the sake bar. "You wanted sake, right?" he said with that sexy smile of his.

Naruto saw his smile and thought "Damn...- ... WAIT! He's a fucking guy! What the fuck am I thinking?" as a light pink blush appeared on his face.

Inside, they sat a safe distance away from each other, quietly stealing looks at each other's lips while quickly hoarding down the alcohol; half trying to erase the feeling of each others skin on their, half trying to remind themselves, they're guys, this is gay.

The bartender, on their fifth bottle, suggested, "Maybe you two had enough."

"Don't tell us when we had enough!" they shouted in unison. They caught each other's gaze again, the Uchiha looking deep into Naruto's blue eyes.

Naruto stood to break the moment, swiftly punched Sasuke in the face, and hurried wobbling away. He muttered, "this is crap, this is crap" over and over under his sake stenched breath.

"That's right!" Naruto proclaimed as he stood a few feet from his apartment. "I... I, sir, am a guy! This is CRAP!" He punched a hole in the wall beside him as if to assure himself of his gender.

His speech started to slur and was promptly stopped by the sight of a drunk, emo Uchiha by his door.

"Naruto, we have to talk." Words of doom.

"Not now, Uchiha! I'M FUCKING DRUNK! Leave me alone..."

"No. Talk. NOW!" Sasuke yelled as he blocked the doorway.

Naruto, being the idiot that he is, looked into Sasuke's eyes. "Fine…we'll talk. Let's go inside." He began to open the door after Sasuke moved out of the way.

Suddenly shy, "…" was all Sasuke could say.

Naruto, remembering Sasuke's timidity, started the conversation to kill the awkward moment. "Oi, baka. What are we talking about? I'm fucking drunk and I want to fucking sleep!"

"…"

"GAH, fucking bastard! I'll just have to talk first! Uchiha Sasuke…I…There's something about you that I can't place…Every time I look into your eyes, I get this warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I don't know what it is, but its driving me fucking crazy. And about that kiss earlier…I-I really…I liked it, okay!" With that, Naruto chugged a sake bottle that just happened to be there.

"…Me…too…" Sasuke just whispered.

"Nani?" Naruto wondered at Sasuke's response.

"I…I liked it too…I get those feelings too…Naruto…I think I love you…There."

"… Damn it."

"What?"

"I think-… I love you too."

When Sasuke began to smile, Naruto quickly shouted, "Just don't tell anyone yet, idiot!"

Naruto continued, "So please, I need to think – alone."

"Okay… fine. I'll go. But remember Naruto, I'm in love with you." Sasuke left with a light pink blush on his face.

Naruto swiftly landed on his couch. "Man, I… like… guys." And he passed out.

OH EM GEE, TEH NEXT DAY.

Naruto, contemplating his inner 'gay' self, was walking to yell at the Godaime for not dying yet, oy, Naruto was promised the job of the Sixth. On the way, he saw a girl around the age of 21 with short, dark blue hair with white eyes. She was kneeling on the ground picking up her fallen groceries, mumbling, "shoot, shoot, shoot…"

"Oi! Hinata-chan! Need some help?"

Hinata's shy response was barely audible. "Hai.."

After they picked up all the groceries, Naruto walked with Hinata back home as he held her bags.

"Arigato," she said thanked timidly. Her heart began to pound as color rose in her face. Even after all this time, even after becoming an extremely awesome-y ninja and facing many A-ranked missions, Hyuuga Hinata was still as shy, quiet, and in love with Naruto then ever.

"No problem datte ba yo," Naruto replied; then added, "You know Hinata, you should try to speak up more, express your feelings. You know, vent it out when you're pissed!"

Hinata's rosy cheeks grew redder. She stood in front of him and looked nervously in front of him and looked up at the blond. "Na- Naruto.." she managed to stumble out. "I-, I have something to tell you then…"

"Nani?"

"Na- Naruto… I- …"

:MEANWHILE :

"Man, where is that dope? I was planning to follow him around…" thought the Uchiha, "oh someone's coming…" He hid in the trees. His went super O.O - wide -when he saw Naruto and Hinata smiling and walking… TOGETHER.

"NARUTO'S MINE! STAY AWAY!" Sasuke yelled as he jumped at Naruto, grabbed him, and ran away.

"SASUKE-TEME! NANDAYO!" Naruto pondered at Sasuke's crimson-filled face.

"Shut up you dobe. I love you, okay? Can't you see that? I can't stand you being all weird with other people. It's just… just… it hurts. It bloody hurts seeing you all emotion with someone else other than me, okay!"

Naruto started laughing. Sasuke glared. "What? Why are laughing, dobe!"

"You're jealous! Sasuke-teme is jealous!"

"Oi, baka, uresei."

"Ah, gomen. Don't worry Sasuke, the only one I have in my eyes is you and you alone."

By then, Sasuke had stopped in front of Naruto's house. Silence succumbed the two as they started to lean into each other. Sasuke's hands ruffled into Naruto's messy hair as Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist. Finally the two's lips were connected, Naruto pushing his tongue forward for acceptance. And Sasuke let him. Their tongues danced together in a passionate kiss only to be broken by Kakashi "walking through" with his gray eyebrows raised.

Their old sensei was now a least 40 years of age (yet still looks as young as he did before, of course). Now, he could turn the Sharingan on and off and, since his scar had finally healed, he didn't have to cover it.

"Naruto, Sasuke, what.. are you two… _doing_?" he said with one eyebrow raised and wiggling.

"What do you and Iruka-sensei do when no one's around, huh Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto replied with narrowed eyes. Before Naruto could say anything else, the silver-haired ninja (who went back to being ANBU) vanished with a loud POOK! Naruto muttered "I knew it was strange that he was reading less of that book…"

The two 21 year old jounins said their emo good-byes, gave each other a good-bye make-out session and finally went home.

((NEXT DAY ))

"SASUKE-KUUUNN! Happy Birthday!" shouted a familiar pink-haired girl. "I'm taking you drinking, like it or not! " and she dragged Sasuke to a sake bar.

Sakura bought a drink that had the most alcohol (like 50 percent) and cleverly disguised it as a low percent alcohol and gave it to Sasuke.

'Mwahahaha… my plan has already started,' she thought.

Sasuke chugged the bottle. Within one minute he was as drunk as… well we don't really know. But if you've ever seen Sasuke drunk, you've never seen him… REALLY drunk.

"La, la, la, la!" Sasuke SANG as he SKIPPED around the sake bar. "Hey… Saaakuraa… s'hup? … oi… didya know? I dernt like yooo… weee! I'm in love wit dat guy Naroootoh… ehehehe… :) " he sang.

Sakura went O.O and Inner Sakura took over her body and destroyed the sake bar. Shattered glass and broken wood covered the floor.

"HOW COULD YOU? WHY! WHY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And Sasuke ran away – er… skipped away, talking about rainbows, butterflies, and flowers with a cheery grin on his face.

"Naaaroootoh!" Sasuke cheered; his face suddenly popped on the other side of the blonde's window.

"What the hell datte ba yo!" Naruto shouted. "It's still 11! I was sleeping!"

"Naaaroootoh! It a beeeuutiful dayeeee outside! Come, come! Let us go an' skippy under da rainbow, wit da butterflies, among da flowers o' Konohaaaa!" Sasuke swung his legs into Naruto's room and sat dangling his legs gleefully on the ledge.

O.o … Naruto looked at the dark-haired ninja with an unbelieving look. "What did you smoke?"

"Oh Narootoh!" Sasuke said as he jumped and put his arms around him. "Let us gooo drink sake on this dayeee I was born into dis wondrous world!"

Suddenly, Sakura burst into Naruto's apartment with a loud and big bang. Naruto could actually feel the heat emitting from Haruno's veins.

"Na… ru… to…"

Naruto tried to look innocent, which proved incredibly hard with the Uchiha clinging to his neck. "Uh… haii?"

"GET YOUR EFFING HANDS OFF MY SASUKE!"

Naruto quickly turned to Sasuke. "What the HELL sis you tell her DOBE! I told you not to tell anyone!" But Sasuke kept smiling and singing to the invisible butterflies. Sakura rushed over to Naruto who couldn't escape due to Sasuke's grasp. With fires blazing in her eyes, she came within three inches of his face. Tears streamed down her eyes, and as if they took out all the flames, she quickly turned away and slammed out of the room.

"Oh whaaa a day for flyyy-eeee-ing!" Sasuke exclaimed.

SOMEWHERE ELSE

"INOOOOO!" Sasuke screamed as she burst into the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

"Nandayo, Sakura?"

"Sasuke! He… he… HE'S GAY! Wahhh!"

"Oh… Sakura, I'm so sorry…" Ino said. 'I'm gonna kill that bastard for hurting Sakura… grrr.' she thought.

Sakura was pulled into Ino's embrace. 'When… did she care about me? Why… is she so warm? Why do I like being held by het? … am I? … NO! I'm not! Am I?'

"Sakura." She snapped out of her thoughts. "You know that I've stopped liking Sasuke, right? Well.. I know now who I truly love. Sakura, I … I love you."

"Nani? …" thinking 'Sasuke, Ino, Sasuke, Ino, Sasuke… INO!'

"H… Hai. Me too."

And thus this chapter ends with the appearance of three relationships :

Naruto . Sasuke

Kakashi . Iruka

Sakura . Ino

And now onto the others…

xD

**gin :** my gosh... Sasuke is such a bickering girl in this story... A HA HA HA H XD

**ookami :** Sasuke is such a hot girl man


	2. we would think of something witty for th...

Its Couple's Week in Konoha! This week couples rejoice and enjoy festivities: the arcade, high speed motorcycle simulators, and the oh so exciting "Let's See How Many Things We Can Blow Up in the Microwave!" game. But for the singles, its time to express true love.

"Naruto."

"Naruto was eating at the Ichiraku, as usual, when Shino approached.

"Eh. What do you want, Shino?" he said with a mouth full of ramen.

"I'll get to the point, Naruto," Shino aid as se sat down next to him. "Hinata likes you but I like her. How can I get her to see me?"

Naruto nearly spit out all his precious ramen. "HINATA LIKES ME?" Well that explains a few things. "So, what do ya want me to do?"

"Er… dunno." came Shino's low response.

"Hm… let me handle this. Wait here Shino." After Naruto ate his ramen, he went to find Hinata.

Just to his luck, Hinata was sitting near a garden staring at the sky. 'Oi, Hinata-chan!"

"E-Eh? N-Naruto-kun? H-Hai?"

"Look, if you really like me, then go out with Shino. It'll make you happier."

"E-Er… o-okay… I was thinking ab-bout h-how to t-tell S-Shino t-that I l-liked h-him…"

"That makes everything better! Go! Now! He's at Ichiraku right now!"

"H-Hai! Arigato gozaimas, Naruto-kun!" and she ran off.

Hidden in the middle of the Konoha Village, hidden by a tree, Temari was leaning on a tree with Shikamaru in front of her.

"Temari, I love you."

"E-Eh! Shikamaru… So sudden… um… I … I love you too…"

"That's good…" Shikamaru said as he started leaning in.

The two shared a passionate kiss as Temari's hands ruffled Shikamaru's hair. her lips parted as his tongue slipped in. The two kissed fiercely as they fought to control their raging hormones until finally, the two separated, out of breath, lips swollen.

"Shikamaru… that, was wonderful." Temari said as she pecked his lips.

MEANWHILE!

TenTen was minding her own business thinking of Neji's hotness when all of a sudden…

"TENTEN!" someone yelled as TenTen was tackled to the floor.

"TenTen! TenTen! I am captivated by your beauty and essence!"

TenTen's eyes opened as she gasped, looking into his creamy white eyes. Neji… that's right. THE Neji, cold-hearted, quiet, son of a…

"Neji! Hola!"

"There's no one around so I can tell you, I love you."

TenTen smiled. "I love you too." with that the two locked lips.

Naruto and Sasuke were caught in a fierce make-out session when all of a sudden…

CLICK

"Naruto… Sasuke… what are you two… doing?"

"What the hell! Can't you see we're… we're…" Naruto trailed off as he recognized the intruder's face. "Gaara…"

"Naruto… Sasuke…" Gaara spoke, as held his camera in front of him. "You guys are…"

"Ummm… we can explain – " Sasuke began.

"And Naruto, all this time I thought you were just avoiding me but you were with another man?" Gaara replied, monotonously, no change in his expressionless face. "I'm hurt."

"What are you talking about – " Naruto said, but he was abruptly interrupted.

"This photo is interesting… Tsunade-sama would be much interested. How many people know of your… union?"

"What! NO!" they shouted in unison.

"And I thought I had news," Gaara responded, his voice still flat. "But this, no, now THIS is news…"

"Wait, what new did you bring?" Sasuke asked, out of his "gay-mode" and back to the ex-"Avenger mode."

"Yes, this photo…" Gaara whispered.

"Gaara!" Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the Sand!" Naruto demanded.

Gaara slowly lowered his camera and looked up at Uzumaki. "Kankuro is covering for me. Temari and I are here to tell the Hokage the top secret information that the Akatsuki plan to resurrect Orochimaru and Itachi under their control." Gaara turned. "Ok, bye."

"M-Matte! Gaara!" they shouted but Gaara was long gone.

((insert squiggly line here))

"Hokage-sama," Gaara said as he bowed.

"Ah, yes… the young Kazekage. What brings you here?"

"Hokage-sama, please, my name is Gaara. And I have interesting bits of information. But I think you should see this first…" Gaara said as he proceeded to take out something.

"Oh and Gaara, since you're Kazekage you have a right to know, if anything happens to me, Naruto will take over. It's also in my will."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. Here, look at this." Gaara showed her the picture.

"What in the world! …" Soon, all through Konoha, all that was heard was "AHHHHH!"

Somewhere in Konoha, Naruto and Sasuke ran for cover.

"But… but… Naruto… Sasuke… Sasuke… Naruto… AHH!" and Tsunade passed out – well, it looked like she did anyway.

"Um… Hokage-sama? HOKAGE-SAMA? Oi Shizune! Something's wrong!" he yelled.

: LATER :

"Naruto, due to Tsunade's heart attack, you're the Hokage now," said the elders whose names no one remembers.

"Ehhhh?" Naruto gasped. "What happened to her!"

The guy elder coughed. "The cause is unknown but is suspected that she saw something quite shocking."

"But right now, that is unimportant," said the girl elder. "We need you, Rokudaime, and continue the meeting with the Kazekage."

AT THE OFFICE! GASP

"Hello Rokudaime."

"Gaara! You showed Tsunade-baachan the picture!" Naruto yelled. "Now look what –"

"You're Hokage now, aren't you?" Gaara replied.

Naruto stopped. "True…" Naruto tipped the Hokage hat up and leaned in the chair. "I heard she's just in critical condition and that she'll get better –"

"She'll be dead soon. I made copies."

… dot dot dot …

"The years have changed you Gaara."

"So have you. Last time I checked, you were straight and hated Sasuke with a passion. Tch. Enemies with Sasuke? Now, you're making out with him, 24/7."

Cough. "So what was it that you needed to tell me Gaara? Akatsuki? Resurrecting Orochimaru and Itachi?"

"Don't try to change the subject Uzumaki."

"Gaara! The Akatsuki!"

Gaara paused for a long awkward moment. "Right. Well yeah, they want to bring back Orochimaru and Itachi back… Yeah, that's basically it."

"What's the plan you're proposing? You have one right?" Naruto said in his best Rokudaime voice.

"Yes. Yes I do."

…

"And?"

"And what?"

Naruto was about to blow a fuse. "And. what's. the. plan. … KAZEKAGE?"

"The Sand will dispatch teams to stop them while the Lead will launch a resurrection project on their own, just in case the teams fail. Who you wish to bring back is your choice."

"Oh."

"Yes, 'kay bye." And with that, the young kage left.

: HOKAGE CELEBRATION PARTY :

Gaara was walking, looking for Neji and Sasuke to go out drinking to celebrate Naruto's Hokage-ness… without Naruto.

"Oi! Sasuke, Neji! Let's go CELEBRATE!" he said, suddenly overenthusiastic.

"YES! LET'S!" Neji responded while dragging Sasuke.

"Let's go… over THERE!" Gaara squealed, pointing at the Umino Karaoke Bar…

"Nani! IRUKA-SENSEI WORKS HERE!" Neji/Sasuke yelled.

"Oh, hello Sasuke-kun, Neji-kun, Kazekage-sama. I assume you're here to celebrate the new Hokage? Right this way…" Iruka led the three to a room filled with loud, possibly drunk, people singing off-key.

"Here you go…" and as soon as the door opened, all that could be heard was a loud series of "GAARA! SASUKE! NEJI!"

But their attention was turned toward the singer.

"… soshite mata toki wa nagarete… anatato wakachiau.dake… yagate bogura wa sore ga subete dato kigatsuite… kanashimi ga hoho wo tsutatte… hitotsuji no uta ni naru dake… yureru omoi wa tsuyoi uzo ni natte… tokeaunoyo tokeaunoyo…" (A/N : we don't own Seishun Kyousoukyoku … Sambomaster does.)

The three stared in shock as the Rokudaime pranced around singing… with a glare on his face? It seemed that he was tricked into singing… and that he's drunk.

"Naruto… um…"

"What, you bakayaro! Go away! I'M SINGING!" – Yup. He's drunk alright.

"Have you three, sit down and have a highly alcoholic drink!" Hinata handed three bottled over. The three replied by chugging their drinks.

"Wee! THE RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES! LET US GO FLY AWAY!" Sasuke skipped around.

"NAATOOTOH… I LOVE YOUUUU! WEE! FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES!" Gaara skipped around with Sasuke, arm-in-arm.

As for Neji, he simply started making out with TenTen.

Just then, Jiraiya strolled in with Naruto screaming angrily at everyone for everything, Sasuke and Gaara singing about butterflies, rainbows, flowers, etc. ("I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty ANDDD …!), Neji locking lips with TenTen, Shikamaru and Temari trying to sing love ballads to each other, and everyone else acting really freaky, and Hinata providing the source of the insanity.

Jiraiya sighed. "What happened to their innocence?" He slammed his fist on the wall as he flashed on the lights.

"Jiraiya-sama!" Rock Lee proclaimed. "Please help me here to stop the consumption of alcohol by my companions. This is not the spring time of youth!"

"Shut up Rock. I can tell you drank."

"What! How can you blame me of such an act! I'll… I'll kill y –" and with that Rock landed on the floor in a faint.

Everyone stopped and blinked at the bright light. Jiraiya coughed.

"Rokudaime, its time for the … projects."

SECRET-Y UNDERGROUND PLACE

"So, who are we going to resurrect?" Naruto said once everyone sobered.

"Ummm…" everyone said.

"Obito and Yondaime," said some random person.

"Okay," Naruto replied.

And thus, Obito and Yondaime was chosen to be resurrected.

**gin :** and finally I'm freaking done with typing this stupid thing… though i don't know what happened with couple's week... it seems to have disappeared.

* * *

**gin:** what is with u and french kissing anyways? 

**gin:** and wait... raging hormones... at 21?

**ookami:** kekeke

**ookami:** yes

**ookami:** raging hormones at 21

**ookami:** xDDDDDD

**ookami:** and french kisses are fun to write

**gin:** uh huh

**ookami:** kekeke (:

later… like 2 minutes later.

**ookami:**...kiba...x...hinata?...

**gin:** O.o

**ookami:**...

**ookami:** thats...weird...

**gin:** i guess... i could see where it came from... but...

**gin:** hinata and shino is weirder eh?

**gin:** xD

**ookami:** coughcoughkibaisapervertedhornyboycoughcough

**gin:** O.o

**gin:**...

**gin:** WHAT!

**ookami:**

**ookami:**

**ookami:** huh?

**gin:**...

**gin:** dot dot dot

**ookami:** i choose you, pikachu!

**gin:** screw pikachu, hello flame thrower

**ookami:** aaaaaah

**ookami:** grabs a fire extinguisher

**ookami:** WOOT IM GOIN TO CHINA TOWN

**gin:** ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**gin:** xD

**gin:** coughBUYMESTUFFcoughcough

**ookami:** COUGH GIVEMEMONEY COUGH

**gin:** coughNONOFORFREEcougcough

**ookami:** coughNOREINBURSEMEcough

**gin:** coughOOREIMBURSEBIGWORDcough

**ookami:** coughIKNOWHUHcough

**gin:** coughBUYMESTUFFcough

**ookami:** coughREIMBURSEMEcough

**gin:** coughGOESTOLOOKUPWHATEXACTLYREIMBURSEMEANScough

**ookami:** coughITMEANSPAYMEBACKcough

**gin:** coughOHcough

**ookami:** coughYEAHcough

**gin:** coughEHNVMcough

**ookami:** coughOKAYTHENcough

**gin:** coughYEAHcough

**ookami:** coughOKAYcough

**gin:** haha this is so going into the chapter.

**ookami:** wtf

**gin:** like at the end

**gin:** kekeke

**ookami:** - -''

**gin:** :D


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